For those of you in the States, a very happy Thanksgiving… and for the rest of us, let’s celebrate another day of gratitude for the lives we have been gifted!

I want to share a personal gem from my journey with you today – another message from a place I call The Women’s Fire.

This is a gorgeous spot on our woodland in Scotland, where three years ago, standing in the centre of a stunning circle of trees, I had a very humbling vision of a project that life inspired me with. The name that came with it was ‘A Call To Stand… for life’ (ACTS for life).

It was humbling because of the way I felt when I received this vision – a hugely expanded heart and deep gratitude for life. It’s always a sign to me of the rightness of something.

But despite this incredibly affirming experience and the creative inspiration that burst forth over the next few weeks, a part of me was too scared to act on it. So I put it on the ‘back burner’ and got on with some less scary stuff around my business.

Looking back through the frustration of not having stepped fully into my vision, I realise that this was in fact a perfect path of preparation for what was coming. I needed to learn how to deal with my fear in the face of stepping forward.

So I began to find a way to let this precious seed of inspiration that had been planted, take root. I needed to tend carefully to the soil and create a nurturing environment for it to have a chance to blossom. I started to tune into the part of me that was creating inertia, trying to protect me from taking a risk and keeping me small so I didn’t expose myself to perceived danger. One ‘block’ at a time, I began clearing the limiting remnants of my ancestral line and the residue from our collective story as women.

 I learned just how much compassion I needed to have for the younger part of me that was feeling so vulnerable. I needed to tend to her and give her the sense of safety that she’d been screaming for every time I took a bold step forward in the direction of my dreams.

Then a couple of months ago I had another big surge of inspiration to move A Call To Stand forward. The time had come to take action on this feminine calling and so I started sharing my passion and began to take the first steps I could see ahead of me.

And it’s been astonishing to see how easy it is for the scared part of me to start getting anxious again. Only this time the fear came back with a vengeance and dropped me into an unexpectedly deep pit of unworthiness and self doubt.

But this time it was quite different, fascinating even. Because even though I knew I was in a deep pit, I knew it was the perfect place for me to be. The seed that had grown to bud was bursting with desire to blossom and a part of me, terrified of being seen, had tightened her hold protecting the bud from coming into bloom.

On the funny side, I now affectionately call the pit I fell into the ‘pit stop!’ It’s a rather contrasting and un-feminine metaphor I know, but let me explain.

I let myself BE in that ‘delicious’ pit of old conditioning and got see the impact that these illusionary beliefs and contracting emotions were having on my journey and why they existed. And by having compassion for myself exactly as I was and removing ALL judgement, I got to find the resourcing in the experience and was able to change my tires, refuel my tank and top up with water! So it turns out it was entirely necessary for me to fall in the pit – to learn how to love the unloved parts of me and then to re-Source and re-integrate myself for my onward journey.

The reason I’m sharing this is because I know that I’m not alone in this experience and that you will have your own ‘pits’ to reflect on. When you fall in, make it a ‘pit stop‘. Take your time to let the experience inform you and re-Source you in your journey forward.

Ok enough of that metaphor – it definitely doesn’t work to think of us going really fast round and round a race track actually!

So coming back to a more feminine and appropriate metaphor of the bud and the point of this message, I want to highlight how we can allow ourselves to move from bud to blossom.

The truth is, we can’t become the empowered feminine leaders of our visions without meeting, clearing and integrating the fear-based blocks that have been keeping us tight in the bud. The clearing happens in the process of stepping forward and taking a stand, because that’s when we meet our resitance. When the resistance surfaces we need to welcome it and learn to love and nurture the parts that are afraid. As these parts hold the key to our true self expression, we can’t leave them behind. We need to help them feel safe enough to take the journey with us. And that’s how we get to blossom.

In fact that’s how we get to take a stand for life; by taking a stand for ourselves first and allowing ourselves to blossom.

Here’s what I believe: Life wants YOU to become who you really are and to step forward in the world with your gift. Who are you not to? Why would you withhold your blossom in a world that needs everyone of us to return our gifts?

So on our somewhat universal day of thanksgiving, I invite you to invite in your gratitude for life and take a stand for your own blossoming…

I can’t wait to share more about my new project ‘A Call To Stand’ in the New Year. The bud is being nurtured for some blossom in the Spring!

Love and many blessings,

Joey x

By the way, if you haven’t yet picked up my free webinar ‘Awaken Your Gift’ it’s still available here. Awaken Your Gift.

]]> http://whlcommunity.com/2013/11/taking-the-risk-to-blossom/feed/ 2 http://whlcommunity.com/2013/08/feminine-leadership-for-bbc-radio-guernsey/ http://whlcommunity.com/2013/08/feminine-leadership-for-bbc-radio-guernsey/#comments Mon, 05 Aug 2013 14:25:31 +0000 Joey Walters http://whlcommunity.com/?p=3745 Some of you know that I was recently invited to speak in Guernsey about Feminine Leadership for a wonderful women’s network called The Women’s Development Forum. It was a real gift to be there and as a result of this event, I was also invited to do an interview with BBC radio Guernsey. Here’s the recording if you’d like to tune in a little further… Enjoy!

• Am I being and expressing who I really am?
• Am fulfilling my purpose and my unique potential for making a difference?
• Am I valuing my true gifts and the wisdom I have to offer?

Asking these questions, I believe, is where we begin the life long journey of Authentic Leadership. ‘What does all this have to do with leadership?’ you may well ask.

I meet so many women who don’t connect with the term ‘leader’ because they don’t associate what they’re doing or who they are with being a leader, especially with entrepreneurs or solo professionals. The concept of leadership is so entangled with senior level roles in organisations, politics or religion that many women miss out on the higher perspective of what leadership is and the possibilites that open up when we step into our true leadership identity, regardless of the context.

It dawned on me about a year ago that I was on a bit of a mission to change this limiting perception and help women to break free of the illusion that if we’re not bestowed with the right title then we’re not a leader. Or that if we haven’t got a certain type of character, training, business or professional profile, we can’t be a leader. Even when we do have those things, it doesn’t necessarily give us the deep confidence we need to realise our true leadership potential.

That’s why I’m inviting you to this unique women’s event in Scotland on Tuesday 7th May:

Living Your Authentic Leadership

If you knew the amount of senior women leaders I’ve coached over the years who struggle to see themselves as leaders, you’d probably fall over in shock (and then breathe a huge sigh of relief!)

That’s because true leadership comes from a much deeper place in us than the false confidence we hang precariously on our roles. And that’s what we’re exploring in this one day workshop. Whether your employed in an organisation, an entrepreneur or a solo-professional – if you want to make a bigger difference in the world without compromising who you really are, then this is for you.

It’s true that we need to access certain qualities to really own and live our leadership potential, but we already have those qualities within us and the deeper truth is that we are all leaders, right here, right now, whether we own it or not.

First and foremost we’re leaders of ourselves and the choices we make about how we use our lives, how we treat ourselves and what values we live by. How we engage our thoughts, emotions and responses in life has a huge impact on our own personal experience of success and fulfillment.

And then we need to recognise that whether we’ve given ourselves permission to ‘be’ a leader or not, we’re influencing life around us in every moment. Our thoughts, feelings, words and actions have a huge impact on others and particularly on the quality of our relationships with them (which of course is the bedrock of any successful ‘task focused’ collaboration).

However there is another nugget of this conversation to chew over that I believe is an essential ingredient of this new perspective:

• What if your leadership was really about simply being who you are and authentically sharing your gifts with the world in a way that was joyful and deeply rewarding for you?
• What if it were simply about stepping in to service in the truest way you can, to make the world a better place?
• What if you didn’t need to follow a behavioural formula, but rather simply follow your own heart and inner wisdom to become the leader that life is calling you to be?

Think about it. What might the highest expression of your leadership look like if you based it on these principles?

It might feel a bit scary, but if you own the authentic leader that’s within you, you won’t look back. Your life will be a rewarding reflection of who you really are.

Take a look, I’d love you to join me if you’re free. Living Your Authentic Leadership.

Warm wishes and hope to see you there…

Be courageous!

Joey x

P.S. There’s limited space so book early and you can also take advantage of the early-bird before 23rd April. Register here.

This new year of 2013 marks ‘the year of the feminine’ – calling us to our feminine leadership and inviting us to bring our gifts confidently to life as change agents and culture makers for a new world.

If you haven’t already done so, I’d like to invite you to mark this transition and embark on this year with the clarity and power you need to really bring your authentic contribution into the world. It’s time to acknowledge that this is what the universe is calling forward in us. This is what life needs and wants from us in order for the world to evolve in a more balanced and whole way.

What is the contribution you will be making? What are you called to bring forward through your leadership in 2013? Who are you becoming this year and what do you need to let go of in order to access the authentic power you need to evolve as the leader life intended you to be?

A New Year’s gift for you

You will perhaps be used to creating your own way to mark this transition. However, sometimes it’s easier to sit back and be guided in a process by someone else who has your back. So as a way of making this easier for you (and as a gift for this wonderful new year), I have recorded an audio which will take you though a personal ceremony (or mini workshop if you prefer). The recording is 30 minutes but you can make it any length of time to suit what you need and want.

This process will guide you to:

• Receive the gifts that 2012 brought to you
• Appreciate where you are now
• Contemplate and consciously choose to let go of the old patterns that have been limiting you
• Connect with the deeper desires and dreams you hold for your leadership in 2013
• Surface the new beliefs and assumptions that would be wise to embody and create ‘truth statements’ to anchor them into your daily life

Create a beautiful space

I invite you to really honour yourself by creating a beautiful and sacred space around you that reflects who you are! And also make time for this as a way of appreciating and valuing your need to just be with yourself and reflect on you and your life as you make this conscious transition into 2013.

Ok here it is – enjoy and many blessings for 2013!

With love Joey x

PS don’t forget to check out my new feminine leadership programme starting on 10th January – a empowering way to begin the year – The Wisdom Quest

As long as we’re still alive, this simple fact makes today a pretty amazing and auspicious day, especially as it is also our Winter Solstice – a potent time for some deep reflection and letting go.

Nobody fully understands why the calendar ends and we will each have our own sense of the meaning behind it.

Some people interpret this date as the ‘end of the world’, others (including me) prefer to think of it as a more positive change as we enter a powerful new cycle that brings about the expansion of awareness and capacities that will ultimately create a better world.

Whatever we choose to believe, I invite you to take some time with me today to reflect on yourself and your life and to give some space to letting go. Make it the end of the world you want to let go of and welcome in the new!

In case you’d like some guidance with this, I’ve created a simple ‘personal ceremony’ that you can follow or adapt as you like, to mark this transition:

Time: Create a 30 minute space in your day or you can expand it to whatever time frame suits you.

Ingredients: Gather a candle and lighter, a piece of paper and pen and large piece of aluminium foil… or if you have an open fire or log burner, you won’t need the foil. Flowers or other items of beauty for a little altar. A journal or note book.

Place: Outside in nature if you have that luxury, otherwise create a little sacred space somewhere quiet and undisturbed inside.

Ceremony steps:

Step one: Create a little altar with your candle, flowers and anything else of significance that reflects beauty back to you. Light your candle. Create a small bowl with the aluminium foil so you can safely burn a small piece of paper in it.

Step two: Sit quietly settling yourself into your stillness with a few deep breaths, focusing your attention inwards and allowing your out-breaths to release tension and distraction.

Step three: Take some time to contemplate where you are in your life right now – what you’re experiencing, what you appreciate, what you’d like to be different, what’s working, what’s not working, what thought patterns, habits or ways of being are helping or hindering your flourishing? Make notes in your journal as you go.

Step four: One at a time, bring to the focus of your mind the following questions and stay open to the answers that might emerge:

• What do I need to let go of to allow more light, energy and joy into my life?

Don’t think to hard about this. Allow the answers to come more intuitively and see what pops into your mind. When you have a sense of this, then ask..

• What is the gift I’ve received from this? (from what you want to let go of)
  

Step five: Write down on one small piece of paper, wording or a symbol that represents what you are wishing/choosing to let go of. On another small piece of paper write down the gift you’ve received and put it on your altar. Take the first piece of paper in your hand and share your gratitude for the gift it has brought by saying out loud ‘thank you for the gift of xxxx, I’m now ready to let you go’ (or whatever feels right for you). Then burn the paper in your foil bowl and watch it go. Scatter the ashes as you see fit!!

Step six: Make a note in your journal of what came up for you in the previous steps and now sit for a few minutes contemplating these questions one at a time:

• What do I most deeply desire to express, create and contribute with more light, energy and joy in my life?

• What is my intention for this new cycle of growth and expansion as a leader in my own life?

Again, let the answers come to you. Even if you think you already know, allow space for anything new to emerge.

You may want to take much more time to hold these questions without answering. They’re really important questions to be asking so please do give them the space they need.

Finally: Create a permanent altar somewhere in your home and find a more beautiful, small bowl to add to it. Put the piece of paper with the gift written on it into the bowl. Then when you are clearer about the last two questions (what you want to express, create & contribute and what your intention is) then write those down and place them in the bowl too.

Take a few minutes to reflect on the contents of your bowl each day and keep it a sacred space for your intention and dreams to be energised.

Enjoy!!

With many blessings for today and whatever is beyond 21.12.12 for you…

…and have a wonderful Christmas and New Year holiday.

Love Joey x

I suppose this is the same thing as teaching what you most need to learn. And I’m pretty ok about that actually. It feels totally natural to me to teach something that is close to my own journey and something that I’m passionate about because of my own experience.

I’m quite upfront about my own development edge as a leader because what I really want to nurture in myself and others, is an openness and ‘vulnerability’ that develops our capacity to be who we are and not only feel comfortable in our own skin but feel warm, uplifted, inspired, powerful and compassionate in our own skin! This is the freeing experience of being authentic and yet one which so many of us grapple with and feel challenged by.

It’s been present for me recently, because I’m at the beginning of a new phase in my work where I’m starting to offer something that is more authentic for me to be sharing and that takes women on a deeper, more personal and heart-centred leadership quest. Just writing that feels challenging at one level, because I know that many women don’t necessarily resonate with the ‘softer’ language and the deeper personal and spiritual context of our journey as leaders.

On the other hand it seems that so many of us are are waking up to a yearning to experience something more meaningful and revealing of our true capacities as leaders. I know that I’m not alone in feeling called to make a bigger difference and to do something which has a positive impact on others. I also know that in order to realise the potential I hold to do that, I need to be more fully myself and take the risk to express myself in ways  that might unintentionally alienate others.

Of course, this fear of alienation isn’t a purely personal one. It’s one which is shared in the field for many women. We’re in the process of evolving our leadership and asking many questions about how to be fully ourselves, how to express ourselves from a place of authenticity and power that is natural to us and how to be a leader in a way that is embracing of our true gifts, our feminine wisdom and our natural capacities as women.

I call this ‘feminine leadership’. Not because I want to exclude or diminish the masculine strengths in us, but because it emphasises the feminine ‘energy’ and qualities that we need to re-embrace and bring back into balance with the masculine, in order to lead from a place of wholeness and sustainability.

Many of us are turned off by the more traditional ‘masculine’ models of leadership that we see in both men and women. But what is the new way? So many of us are finding our way with what it is to be a ‘whole’ women and a leader in the world and not have these two ‘identities’ fight and compromise one another.

I believe this is one of the reasons why so many women hold back and don’t step up to (or even why they step down from) taking greater responsibility in leadership roles. It’s not that the desire isn’t there, but the role modelling of ‘how’ and ‘why’ doesn’t sit with them well. In simplistic terms, the pressure of the typical ‘masculine’ ways of ‘doing’ that are so engrained in us, operating without the balance of the feminine ways of ‘being’, can be both overwhelming and exhausting.

I’m just beginning a new free teleseminar series, 8 Essential Doorways to the Heart of Feminine Leadership. In it I’m sharing a new framework that stems from an ancient wisdom model of leadership that I’ve synthesised with other transformative leadership perspectives and practices. (8 Essential Doorways Circle PDF)

The essence of the teaching is really focused on the principle that when we lead ourselves, our lives and our work authentically from the heart, we naturally access the wisdom and capacity we need to actualise the next expression of our potential and contribute our greatest gifts as leaders.

Like any transformative process of development, it’s easier said than done. Leading for the sake of leading, without it being heart-connected is not an enjoyable experience but often where we end up if we’re not consciously engaging our development. This is where motivation wains and we default into operating from the head and become very disconnected from the feelings, wisdom and vitality we hold in our bodies. It becomes a doing exercise and an non-relational chore.

So how can we become and stay more heart-connected in our leadership?

It’s a great question to hold and one which can certainly be addressed in a multitude of ways.

One of the things that is key for me is taking time out of my day to nurture myself and to have a regular practice (that I often call ‘whitespace’) that brings me fully into the awareness of my body and that gives me space to connect with and relate to how I am feeling. Often simply walking or just sitting in nature will be enough to give me a sense of space and perspective on my day and to remember why I’m doing what I’m doing.

But when I feel up against a big pressure or if I’m holding uncomfortable emotions (which is generally what causes the pressure), I know that’s a sign that I need to find a deeper connection with myself. I frequently need to sit with and hold the discomfort and find out what the emotion is really telling me, so that I can distance who I am from the experience I’m having and find resources to support me in responding generatively to whatever has triggered the experience.

These practices of self care and awareness are key to heart-centred, feminine leadership because it’s essential that we bring a nurturing and compassionate energy to ourselves as a baseline for our capacity to lead others in a compassionate, wise and creative way.

The bottom line is that we are constantly up against challenges that block us from being in our hearts – it’s actually a natural process in our development. When we step out and take on the next level of our leadership, we take risks outside our comfort zone and so we’re bound to come up against the inner resistances that need to be addressed before we can stand more clearly in our authentic sense of who we are and express ourselves from that place.

Rather than seeing the challenges and resistance as problems, I try to see them as a metaphorical ‘doorway’ to our true creative power and potential. We sometimes stand unknowingly at a doorway when we’re facing a big life challenge or just a repetitive difficulty that puts us at the developmental ‘edge’ of our comfort zone. And if we don’t recognise that we’re standing at a doorway, we’re more likely to get thrown off course by our subtle fears. We often try to deal with them by getting defensive, overriding our feelings and busting through or turning away and trying to avoid what it is we really need to do (or not do!).

If we could face these challenges with the deep confidence that by embracing them wholeheartedly, we’ll discover all the resources we need to move beyond them, then we’re going to find it much easier to navigate them.

In my free teleseminar I introduce what I call 8 Essential Doorways to the Heart of Feminine Leadership. The framework (which is held in a circle representing wholeness) can help us to see more clearly where we need to focus our attention as feminine leaders, in order to grow beyond the limitations or challanges we are currently experiencing. We get to see the ‘doorways’ we are standing at more clearly and find ways to gently and powerfully address the blocks so we can move to a place of heart clarity and power.

I know that on my own quest to bring the feminine back into balance in me, the journey has been (and still is) one that challenges me constantly to soften, to take more care of myself, to value myself more, to more lovingly embrace my vulnerability and to take a stand for my own values and true cares. It seems both ironic and yet obvious that on the journey to becoming stronger in my leadership, I’m being called to soften and embrace myself in a much more loving and nurturing way.

I’m beginning to experience how standing more fully in our hearts as women can be yielding and powerful at the same time. The tenderness of a loving mother with her new born baby alongside the ferocity of the mother bear who is protecting her young.

I heard Marrianne Williamson speak recently about the work she is fostering amongst women to take a stand for those less fortunate than us. In my words, she said that our natural role as women has always been as care takers of our home and carers and nurturers of our children. But what’s happening for many of us now as we naturally evolve our potential, is that we begin to see that the whole planet is our home and that all the children in the world are ours. What she said landed so clearly in me and affirmed what I have been sensing in myself for a long time.

This, I believe is what feminine leadership is really about. Standing in our true care for life, leading from the heart with our innate feminine values and making the difference we were born to make. A life long journey of growth!

If this article resonates with you and you haven’t already registered for this free series, please join us for a more in depth exploration of the 8 Essential Doorways to the Heart of Feminine Leadership

With love and courage,

Joey x

Yes, I too am regularly challenged with giving myself the SPACE to engage in the things that I really love doing and to step away from the everyday lure of the ‘have to do list’ into the ‘WhiteSpace’ that gives me access to my deeper wisdom and higher creativity.

Anyway, yesterday I asked myself ‘what’s the thing I really most desire to do today rather than the thing that I think has to to be done’…  This is how I began….

I REMEMBERED TO DO A SELF CHECK-IN… (what’s that?)

…..that is…. a WhiteSpace practice where I literally checked in with the deeper and wiser part of myself to find out what I needed for my well-being (at a deeper level of knowing than I would have access to if I had not bothered with the process).

(N.B. If you’re new to the concept of WhiteSpace the brief (ish) description is ‘the ‘external space’ we create and the ‘mindful practices’ we engage that foster our ‘internal awareness’ (the ultimate WhiteSpace!) that gives us access to our inner wisdom and creative potential’.)

Doing this Self Check In helped me to get in touch with my own inner guidance…. in this case… how I felt and what I really needed and thus what I wanted to be focusing my actions on. What I discovered was that I really wanted to give space to my creativity and get another useful gift out to you. It didn’t rule out the other important stuff that I had on my list and in my diary, but it helped me to align my motivation and prioritise, because I got clear about what I wanted and with respect for my own needs and desires, I created space for it.

So creating this message IS what I wanted to do and what I want to share with you IS the Self Check-in practice. It’s adapted from the Earth Wisdom teachings that I trained in for many years, hence it’s designed to help you become aware of the feelings and needs you have as a whole person:  your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical make up.

I invite you to try it out…. this audio is part of a free mini audio series I’m putting together and so I’ll be sending out at least one more practice as soon as possible. 
So go to the link below to find the audio and give yourself the gift of 20 mins WhiteSpace today to complete it. That’s all you need to reconnect with yourself and gain some clarity on the way forward.

(Don’t forget to listen to the audio of a special guided ‘WhiteSpace’ practice at the bottom of this message!)

It’s on days like this that I take a deep breath and take time to appreciate the privileged life that I have. It’s a good day to celebrate being a woman particularly at this time in history and all the richness that is inherent in that experience.

It doesn’t mean that we are without our super-challenges but I know you’ll agree that when we compare how much power and privilege with have compared to millions of women in other parts of the world, we can only be grateful.

In contemplating my own gratitude, something personal and important popped into my mind that I’d like to share with you first.

It was the faces of my mother and my grandmother and the image of the female line of ancestors in my family trailing behind me. I noticed that I was standing at the front of the line and was holding the ‘baton’ so to speak. Often we think about the unhelpful conditioning that get’s passed down from generation to generation and how we are impacted by that. But what this image brought into focus for me was the opposite. It was how I was a product of their love and strength and the baton they had past me was the power of their authentic care and all that they had ‘sacrificed’ in order for me to live the life I live now.  The baton is also a symbol of responsibility; I stand as a leader in the front linen now, to pass on that authentic care in the best way I can and to use the benefit that they had created both for my own life and for the lives of others.

So I invite you to join me and the other amazing women in this community to take a few moments to feel your gratitude for the life you have been given and for the privilege and power you hold to make the very best of your life as a woman.

Let’s take a few minutes to share this contemplation together and then send our gratitude, power and support out to the many other women in the world that could do with our energetic support!

I’ve recorded a guided practice that you can listen to here where I take you through a short WhiteSpace process with me.

I look forward being with you virtually!

Many blessings on International Women’s Day!
Joey

Before the New Year I shared a WhiteSpace practice with you to support you in ending 2011 well and promised that I would give you something else to reflect on for the year ahead.

In this message is a really valuable first step if you want to make this year one that really supports you in growing beyond the limitations that get in the way of you leading a life you love and making the meaningful difference you feel called to make though your leadership.

The Power of Intention

It took me years to finally realise that the conscious intentions I was holding about anything in my life were the foundational key to me manifesting those changes and leading a more fulfilling life. I used to be so easily pulled off track by various life challenges or simply my own self-doubt, that I would conveniently forget to set myself a bold intention, unconsciously keeping myself safe from the risk of failure. Of course without a clear intention at the outset, I didn’t stand a chance.

What I began to learn was that when I set an intention that was stretching me, life would magically present the perfect opportunities to move beyond any limitations and fear that I was holding about that stretch. Understanding that alone, really helped me to face my struggles with optimism and now my intentions have become anchors that keep me centred and committed whilst the turbulence of life goes on around me. When the challenges come up (which they always do) however difficult they are, I see them as opportunities to grow. The process of moving beyond those challenges and experiencing the fulfillment of my intentions is one of ‘breakthrough’. I like this word because it connects me with the power of life-force within me. It reminds me of the birthing of a fledgling hatching from it’s egg. It’s a natural process of evolution and new life emerging, but it still requires the effort which comes from an authentic impulse to live and flourish. And of course it also fits with the metaphor of breaking through the glass ceiling, something which I’m passionate about for all of us.

Setting intentions at the beginning of the year has extra ‘juice’ too. And I’m not talking about new year’s resolutions, but about the fundamental commitment to our growth that a courageous leadership intention will require. The beginning of the year seems to carry with it the opportunity for change and for a new cycle to emerge.

So this message is intended to help you stop and reflect for a while before you get too far into the year so that you can consider what kind of year you’d really like to have. Is it more of the same, or is it time to STEP UP and act on the deeper desires that are stirring under the surface and address the frustrations, constrictions and concerns that have been present for some time and perhaps exacerbated by the state of the world right now?

Put it this way:

Do you feel it’s time to break though your own inner glass ceiling so that you can be more empowered and fulfilled by living a life you really love and making the meaningful difference you’re called to cause through your leadership this year?

(Keep reading, we’re nearly at the process…)

I’m not suggesting you’re not already doing this in some way. But whatever stage any of us are at in our own development, growth never stops. We’re always going to bump up against the next level of challenge when we’re growing – it’s part of the natural process of evolution. And if we don’t, we’re generally either stuck in comfort or in denial – a place which life has a way of popping us out of sooner or later, usually with a bump!

I like to refer to the ‘inner glass ceiling’ in this context because often we very unconsciously (and sometimes knowingly) blame the ‘external glass ceilings’ in our life for our experience of apparent limitation and unwittingly give away our power in the process. I’m not denying that we sometimes face real limitations in our lives but it’s how we relate to those limitations that counts – i.e. either with or without our power.

I’m somewhat shocked by the amount of people who said to me at New Year (a bit like Eeyore in Winnie the Poo!) “well let’s see what this year brings – hope it’s better than the last one”, as if our lives are some kind of lottery game that we have no influence over. Of course, we can’t control many events that occur but we do have so much more influence than we realise to cause our future and at the very least, we can choose how we respond to the challenges that ‘happen to us’ along the way – again, either with or without our power.

What ‘breakthrough’ looks like for you will be as unique as it is for every individual. However you see your leadership context (e.g. self, life, organisation, business, community, family etc) there’ll be something that is key for you to address in your life right now that is sapping your power. And, one thing I’ve noticed in my many years of facilitating and coaching women is that despite our sense of ‘personal’ experience, there are many common patterns in the collective field that we are not alone with. Core to this in my experience, is a strong sense of desire amongst most of us to find a place of authenticity in ourselves and how we show up as leaders, that is on the one hand more natural and rewarding for us as women but more importantly, much more caring and effective in bringing about the changes we long for. Our authenticity is key to our power and underpins our ability to breakthrough our own inner glass ceiling. (I’ll be bringing plenty more on this topic throughout the year).

So here’s the WhiteSpace process that I recommend you take time for soon.

Creating A Courageous Leadership Intention for 2012

Step 1 – Assess your clarity and mindset

Take some WhiteSpace to consider these 3 questions for a moment and assess to what degree you’re clearly aligned with a ‘Yes’ on a scale of one 0 – 10. (10 = 100% yes, 0 = not at all)

1) Do you have a clear sense of what you most deeply desire to create and contribute through your leadership this year and feel really inspired by it? (no it doesn’t need to be a fully fledged vision) Score:

2) Do you have a sense of both excitement and trepidation because you know that in order to manifest that intention you need to be out of your comfort zone, right at your ‘growing edge’ and fully committed to breaking through old limitations that are in the way? Score:

3) Do you feel uncertain about how you’re going to implement the changes you want and yet fully trust that you will find your way and get the support you need from life? (Yes, it is important to have a strong element of not knowing alongside what you already do know) Score:

Where you sit on these scales will give you a clue about how ‘successful’ and personally fulfilled you are likely to be this year and how much WhiteSpace you might need to consider these questions and put a ‘strategy’ into place for your own development.

(You’re not on your own here because I really want to help you with this and it’s the reason why this community exists. So please look out for more emails and support from me on this subject of breakthrough that I’m so passionate about!)

Step 2 – Reflect on your Courageous Leadership Intention for 2012

In the meantime, I’d like to invite you to take the first step of this strategy – to reflect on a Courageous Leadership Intention for 2012 which will require you to have a breakthrough of the limitations that you hold about your identity and capacities as a leader.

Here’s the checklist of essential elements that need to be included in that intention:

Enjoyment – it is something that will bring you joy, motivate you and enable you to lead more of the life you love!

Authenticity – It’s something that feels close to your heart that is inspired by and encourages you to stay grounded in your own authentic values and authentic voice and where success comes from being yourself and sharing your leadership message naturally and confidently. (after a little practice!)

Contribution – It’s something that gives you a sense of excitement and fulfillment because it has purpose for you and you can see the generative change and positive impact that you could have on and make for others (as well as yourself).

Collaboration – It’s something that naturally requires you to inspire and engage others in order to make that contribution.

Growth – It’s something that requires you to grow and that fills you with excitement but also induces some fear of stepping up and growing into a new more authentic ‘version’ of you! (that’s the stretch part!)

Vitality – It’s something that will move you towards more energy, health and vitality in your life rather than draining you or throwing you off balance. (N.B that doesn’t mean it won’t involve hard work or bursts of extra effort and energy).

Now take some WhiteSpace to sit with, reflect and journal on these questions about your Courageous Leadership Intention – take your time with it over a couple of days and look in all corners of your life for the answers, not just work:

1) When you consider your experience of leading in the past, where have you been most uplifted and joyful about your contribution and who have you most enjoyed serving? (And if you insist you’re not a leader, just interchange the word ‘leading’ with ‘life as a whole’ and we’ll have a conversation about it later!).

2) What did you really enjoy accomplishing last year (or before) that has empowered you in some way and given you a deeper sense of confidence and trust in yourself?

3) If you were to really listen to your heart’s desire for your most fulfilling life, who would it be calling you to be and what would it be calling you to do?

4) What do you most care about seeing change in your life in general and within the context of your work or leadership contribution?

5) Where do you get most upset and bothered by what you see happening around you and by the lack of leadership to make it right? (in your life, your business/organisation/community or in the world in general?)

6) If you were to assimilate your deepest passion, values and experience, what would be the most important message you would want to share with others as a leader?

7) If you truly believed you were on this planet for a unique purpose, what might that be and how might you already be expressing this in either small or big ways either in your career or in your life as a whole?

8) What do you really want to enable for or contribute to others? (N.B. you may even still need to enable this for yourself!)

9) Looking back over the last few years and particularly at the challenges you’ve experienced, where do you see your strengths and confidence present or emerging and where do you see the gaps in your strength and confidence as a leader?

Where does your life seem out of balance and why? What is draining you of energy or where are you not being nurtured in balance with the effort you are putting in?

Sit quietly, read one by one and let these questions in. You don’t need to ‘know’ the answers straight away and some of those questions may lead you to seeing where there are blocks. Don’t try to push past them. Whatever your experience, hold the intention to allow the insights and answers you need, to come to you in different ways. Don’t try forcing your intellect to come up with something – this needs to come from your heart!

Step 3) Form your Courageous Leadership Intention and share it with me!

Finally, review your notes and be open to what you feel most inspired and drawn to from what you’ve written. Then take some time to form an intention that describes who/what you most want to be, create, contribute or transform this year. Begin your intention like this:

My Courageous Leadership Intention for 2012 is to…….

Important tips to remember-

- Keep everything stated in the positive: (In other words, don’t describe what you don’t want!)
- Don’t try and make it perfect. If it’s hard to articulate, simply do your best and let me know if you’re struggling with it.

- An intention is not a goal so it doesn’t need to be as specific or expressed as a vision with bells and whistles on it.

Make a note of this somewhere you will see it regularly and please do share it with me either by responding to the blog or by emailing me at joey@dancehammer.co.uk – I’d love to hear what your ‘CLI’ is this year and to support you on the journey as best I can!

Article for the 3rdi Magazine, June, 2011

I’ve been passionately on the path of supporting women in leadership for many years now and yet it’s only in the last few that I really started to feel the magic of the extraordinary collective journey we are on as women. When I began to see the relationship between what I had been experiencing in my own life and our evolutionary past and present history, so much fell into place. I felt strengthened by the rising energy of sisterhood that appears to be emerging all over the world and even more inspired to make a difference through my work with women. I dare to say that I think something is happening spiritually for us as women and that this rising sisterhood is emerging in part because we’re beginning to tap into a feminine source of wisdom that we lost connection with many years ago. Gradually, we’re restoring our connection with nature, with our natural feminine strengths and we’re restoring the essential value of our feminine leadership.

Looking back on the recent history of our evolution as women, it’s striking to me that so much change has happened in so little time – in the West at least. I’m referring to the relatively recent feminist movement and the suffragettes that initiated it. I am far from being an expert in history, which is perhaps why I hold some embarrassment about the time it took me to recognise just how many women risked their sense of safety to begin the reclamation of women’s rights, let alone how many women lost their lives when the patriarchy first took reign.

Courage played a big part in the process of leveling the playing field and perhaps too, rather ironically, did the ‘masculine’ energy of the women who rose to make a difference. I think we can see now, that rising to the challenge of creating equality with men, required a further sacrifice of the feminine, or at least the more receptive, ‘being‘ qualities of the feminine. To some extent, the fight for equal rights for women in the West, required an almost ‘aggressive’ force of power that met and mirrored the masculine reign of power that existed, so that women would be acknowledged for their ability to stand their ground alongside men. And many of us still experience the painful cultural remnants of that revolution. Remember the power suits and padded shoulder days? Many of the women that I coach now are exhausted by the relentless pressure of task achievement and the driven approaches required to succeed, that override their emotional and spiritual needs.

In another respect, we could see that the energy that rose in the process of women’s liberation was the ferociousness of the feminine that is likened to the mother bear intent on protecting her cubs. A serious force to be reckoned with.

Either way, these women of courage made a significant impact and created a tipping point that has since led to the freedom of choice that we now reap the benefits from, many of us not realising the intense effort that went into shifting the tides from our grandmothers’ experience. We’re indebted to these powerful women.

So, amazing progress has been made which must be celebrated and yet we’ve not arrived at a balancing destination yet. We are indeed privileged now (compared to many women in other parts of the world) with the right to vote, to earn equal (or nearly) pay, to own our own homes and to take leadership roles in society. And yet why is there still so much pain being experienced and why is there still a sense that the playing field is not yet leveled?

Part of this, I believe, has to do with our collective consciousness and the restless knowing we experience in our minds and hearts that many of our sisters and children, locally and globally, are still living severely suppressed, victimised and underprivileged lives. But even more obscure is the possibility that we have not yet cleared the collective memory of our ancestors’ pain and sacrifice and that as products of the ‘survival conditioning’ that ensued after such persecutions as the inquisition, we have in some way lost touch with our true feminine power and our resourceful spiritual nature. There seems to be a part of the ‘collective woman’ that is scared to show her true power, her true light and that does not feel safe to be her authentic self.

The point at which I first touched this impersonal pain in a personal way was back in the early 90’s when I was living in London and had stepped away from being an employee to risk being a business owner for the first time. I’d stepped into leadership in a literal and visible way, but I was a fledgling.

What I experienced (which I now understand to be part of the evolutionary process of development) is that having blossomed for many years in my career, I began to hit a wall, or perhaps my own glass ceiling. The new buds of leadership that wanted to emerge became confined by the apparent lack of nurturing around me. I found that my feminine values, my emotions, my personal creative expression somehow weren’t given space or value in the environment that I was in, even though I was an equal founder of the organisation and a credible leader.

Instead of seeing this as my own limitation and an opportunity for transformation, I let my fear get the better of me. Unconsciously, the old patterns of victimisation were beginning to emerge. I didn’t know how to tackle the situation with the right energy because I was operating unwittingly from the lop-sidedness of my own masculine energy. By the time I looked deeply enough to realise the pain I was in, the fear of expressing my power had taken root and I was exhausted from the repetitive internal process of striving to step up, hitting the glass ceiling and then pinging back into my emotional well of discomfort.

Eventually the pain of staying contracted in myself became too much and what happened  wasn’t so much an act of courage as an act of faith. There was a significant point in time when I was overcome by a kind of deep knowing in my heart that I had the power to change my experience. What to? I had no idea. But I knew the next step I needed to take and I can remember viscerally to this day the calm feeling of commitment to right-action that filled my body (despite my head’s judgement about the counter-cultural insanity of what I was about to do!)

And so it was that same day that I literally walked away from my own successful business with no sense of security for my future – not in a fit of victimisation but with the very clear knowing that this was a choice. The right choice.

When I look back to make sense of this experience, I can see that what arose in that moment of knowing, was my true power and a kind of ‘sacred awakening’ to the journey of restoring my own feminine leadership:

giving space and expression to the spirit of my authenticity as a woman,
being guided by my heart and following with my head,
integrating my emotions with my rational mind,
trusting my intuitive ways of knowing as well as the evidence,
valuing my ‘not-knowing’ as much as my knowing,
creating relationship before achieving the task,
allowing collaboration to weave with direction…

… and so the list goes on as does the iterative learning process. I am by no means a master in any of these but what I do recognise in hind-sight is the key role of my faith as I faced into the fear that was present. It wasn’t just faith in myself but in the greater field of life to support the heart-felt direction that I was taking. This was my transition from ‘scared’ to ‘sacred’.

What I also see in retrospect is that the ‘external’ glass ceiling wasn’t quite as thick as I’d first perceived and that some of my experience was a projection of my own fear (oh dear!). If I’d had the right support, I might have chosen to transform my leadership within that environment but at the time that support didn’t really exist.  And, life clearly had another agenda for me – to create that container of support for other women.

So that first experience of ‘awakening’ over 15 years ago propelled me onto my path of purpose which I have always seen as the restoration of the feminine – bringing the feminine back into balance with the masculine. It’s a path which is underpinned by my own ever-deepening journey of evolution and creative expression as a woman, constantly finding my way from ‘scared’ to ‘sacred’ in the process. It has fueled my passion and capacity for the humbling transformational work I’ve evolved with women over the last 8 years. In supporting women to get to know and truly value themselves, they begin to lead from their authentic power and can then bring their unique and impactful contributions to life, becoming transformational in their own leadership. For me the inner and outer journeys are totally inter-twined.

So zooming back out to the landscape of our collective evolutionary journey as women, I can perceive how I am, as we all are, connected in some way to a greater evolutionary process, that is about the force of mother nature coming back to balance; the rising heart of the feminine to restore life and course-correct for the sake of our global future.

I’m aware of women all over the world tapping into this inner source of renewed power, taking the lead to stand firmly and with heart, as if to say ‘enough… it’s time to do it differently, time for me to re-connect with my feminine values, to learn to show up vulnerably and authentically and give what I have to give without apology or sacrifice’. Women are beginning to gather in collaborative community in a multiplicity of ways, locally and globally, which we notice in our friendship circles, our women’s business networks, learning and development forums, social enterprises and in innovative new businesses such as 3rdi magazine!

Of course this source of ‘feminine’ power is not exclusively there for women! Many men are also feeling the yearning for this lost nourishment and tapping into this mysterious resource as we begin to collectively redress our human imbalances. This is an important recognition, as  the journey of restoration is not a fight for power between men and women or a devaluing of all things masculine. It’s about redressing the balance between masculine and feminine in both genders so that we can lead in healthy collaboration.

Ultimately it’s about all of us restoring ourselves by slowing down enough to access the ‘ground of being’ within us and listen to the inner wisdom we hold. And if we give ourselves permission to embody our feminine values, we’ll find the courage to express that wisdom authentically through our leadership too.

It’s clear how essential our collaboration with men is in bringing about a brighter future for all. But I have always held a deep sense that as women, with our biological connection to our feminine power, we have a primary leadership role to play, guided by an intuitive sense of responsibility perhaps, to restore ourselves first! Then from a place of genuine care and authenticity, we can step into our true feminine leadership and as natural role models, forge a new, evolutionary pathway ahead alongside our brothers.